Did i make the right decision?

It is only 7 days before the final exam but i am here confused with my own thoughts. "Did i make the right decision?" is always the question playing in my mind. It is already the ending of year one sem one of my degree course but yet i am still wondering is this the right decision. Studying actuarial science is indeed difficult..something that i have already expect before i sign up this course. But i have never thought that it is something that do not really suits me. I am not happy in this course. It is tough,yes but i am not interested with it which makes it even more harder. But what is the solution for this??changing course??Yes, my parents have said that they will let me to change the course but can I??i cant get through this...i know if i have chosen to change, it really will make them felt disappointed and i dont know how is it gonna be in the future..will i be happier in engineering courses??maybe yes because there are alot of my friends there..but i know this is not the right reason..

I have chosen actuarial science because of my passion towards mathematics but is this what i expect..this is only the 1st sem but it has already been so tough to me...That day when i went to the bookstore, i looked at the shelf full of books..i saw physics books,chemistry books,engineering books, all the science books...i wanted to hold it..i wish i could read it but..i turned away to look at those books that i have no interest at all which is accounts...finance..econs...discrete maths..oh gosh...i feel like vomitting whenever i look at this books..at that moment i really felt very sad...very sad for my own decision..
but i still have to persuade myself that i will like those books...because if i choose to hate, i will never get through this..so i still took up an accounting book to look at..ignoring those science books...i think i have made a huge mistake in my life..but what can i do??? the only thing that i can do is to persuade myself that i will like this subjects one day...it is for sure that i can get through this..sometimes i succeeded in persuading myself but sometimes i failed...

I have knew this hard feelings will arose when i enrol in this course...i regret that i did not make a clear cut during the end of my foundation to change my course..i thought i will enjoy learning new stuff but actually i did not..learning something new and giving up my favourite subjects is really hard..i would still be able to pass my course but i dont know when i will be happy with it..all that i have for this whole sem is stress and lonely feeling...somehow i started to have books phobia..everytime i walked in my room..i felt the tense and unhappy feelings..therefore sometimes i rather study in the kitchen..i have never had this kinda hard feelings before...scared of books...



i got no idea who to turn to...yet dont know who i can tell my problem to...therefore i could only write...how i wish that there is someone that can talk to about this..how i hope someone can tell me what is the solution for this mistake??
i dont know how my future will be??continue with this course or choose to give up??maybe i will like this course in the future or maybe i will just continue with this kinda life..but if i change..how will it be then???will i be able to cope with it????i will never know my future...never will understand therefore there will always be a question mark in my head..."DID I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION???"

For the first time in my life...i felt that life is so tough and study can actually be such a terrible thing...But no matter how is it..cheer up girl...be strong and dont think negatively...be a lil more optimist and life will be happier..But Lee Hung Yin, no matter what happens..no matter how unhappy u are...life is still life...study is still study...you still have to do your best and live the rest...dont let emotion takes over your rationality..